Kitchen Guy

From the Kitchen Guy Blog: Dining Alone – Part Two

Posted by Chef Jim on March 14, 2010  |  Comments Off

Looks like I struck a nerve – again. My topic from last week, expressing annoyance at snippy restaurant greeters who look askance at solo diners and feel compelled to say, “Just one?” provoked a great deal of response.

I love it when my e-mail inbox overflows with comments about the things I write.

For instance, a single woman in New York wrote to me, “I’ve fought a long and hard battle over this one, but it seems to be a losing one. In any event, I’ve no compunction whatsoever in telling a host or hostess, “No. (I said) one. Not ‘just’ one.”

Another New Yorker wrote that they believed most hosts/hostesses have probably never thought about the connotation of the way “JUST one” sounds – although it would be a good idea if they did. I still think it’s a training issue and that most of these youngsters don’t give a damn about connotation.

A colleague in France reminded me that patrons dining alone are asked, “une seule?” which, literally translated, means “one alone?” Nevertheless, to those who understand the language and its nuances, it still means, “just one?”

I heard from a divorced woman who said this happens too often to her. “I guess the response could be: ‘Better alone than with you…’ Ha!”

Or this, from a reader in the Midwest: “Respond, ‘I prefer dining with someone who has the ability to answer all my questions quickly and intelligently.’”

This one is my favorite of all of the responses. It comes from an old friend in Washington, D.C. She wrote, “I once went to a hostess and I said I’m alone. She didn’t ask for my name. That’s because she thought she knew me, since I go to this restaurant quite often. Then, as tables became available, she called people’s names. She got to the name ‘Malone’ and no one showed. It finally dawned on me that she thought I had said ‘I’m Malone!’”

I also received this response from a man, who noted, “But they really do look at you with surprise or pity or disdain, sometimes, when they say, ‘Just one?’ They never say, ‘Just two?’”

Others turned the question back to me. They wanted to know what I think should be said. My response: How about a simple: “Good evening. May I help you?” Or – “Would you like a table in the dining room or would you prefer the bar?”

By coincidence one of my culinary industry magazines contained an online blog on the very same subject. Written by the editor of the magazine, she called it, “The Best Dining Companion.”

She provides a very good guide for restaurant staff in the way a solo diner should be treated. Recounting a recent visit to a restaurant, she chose to dine alone at the bar. The visit, overall, she reported, was one of the more pleasant dining experiences she’s had largely because of the way the bartender, who also served her dinner, conducted himself throughout the evening.

Her points: “(first) Don’t judge. For starters, there was no sad look and inquiry, ‘Just one?’ Believe me, I’ve had more than my share of sympathetic, slightly mocking looks from hosts and bartenders who seem to view dining alone as a sign of a crippling social disorder, rather than the peaceful engagement it truly is. I’m OK dining by myself. You should be, too.

“Second, get things started quickly – a beverage of some sort right away, a set-up of a placemat, silverware and napkin, and by all means, a menu. Third, keep an eye on things from a distance – don’t hover, but don’t let me feel abandoned.”

Fourth, know when to jump in. The writer did engage in conversation with others nearby, but the bartender knew to come to her rescue when someone else was clearly bugging her. And finally, know that personal service can pay off. This bartender earned himself a very nice tip because he knew exactly the right way to handle a single diner.

One reader asked of me, “Do you report these incidents to engage in a teachable moment?”

By all means, yes I do.

From the Kitchen Guy Blog: Just One?

Posted by Chef Jim on March 7, 2010  |  Comments Off

My wife and I have done a fair amount of traveling, together and separately. When she’s on a solo trip she usually chooses to do room service rather than go to a restaurant alone.

I, on the other hand, like going to restaurants, and when I travel, it’s fun for me to discover new and interesting eating places. Occupational hazard, I guess.

In the heyday of the expense account business trip, especially in larger cities, you used to see men and women eating by themselves. It was all part of the travel experience, especially if there were no clients to see.

I don’t mind eating by myself, but here’s what I do mind about it:

When I walk into a restaurant and approach the podium where a “host” or “hostess” has charge of seating patrons, I’ll usually signal with my index finger that I’m dining alone. Most of the time, though, I’ll say: “Table for one please.”

So can you tell me – is there a chapter in the restaurant host/hostess handbook that commands an announcement to all in the restaurant within earshot: “Just one?” or “By yourself tonight?” If I’ve already signaled or said that I need seating for one, why is it necessary to broadcast the fact?

Equally annoying is the moronic stare at a single diner and then asking, “How many?” Yes, it can be a legitimate question if you haven’t said or signaled anything, but it really is up to the diner to let the host or hostess know if they are a single or if others are expected. The person at the podium should greet you and ask if you have a reservation or how they can help you.

I am not uncomfortable eating alone in a restaurant, but I know many people who are and who really don’t want to have it reinforced by some pompous twenty-something, that they are, in fact, alone for the evening. Some people are embarrassed by it.

Places that take or require reservations rarely commit these gaffes. But even they have a not-so-subtle way of showing others that you’re alone when they seat you at a table that has been set for more than one and then send someone to clear off the excess tableware.

I’m sure this all may seem nitpicky to some of you reading this, but if the restaurant accepted your reservation for one, why not have a table that’s set for one? That’s not rocket science.

A single diner should not be looked at or treated like an anomaly. A single diner’s money is just as green as the party of four or six.

What all of this is really about is that restaurants are supposed to be in the business of hospitality. It’s also about training staff or the lack of training of staff. It’s also good manners.

The restaurant business is not an easy one, though it may look like it is to some. Margins are generally low. Turnover is generally high. Staff training all too often gets pushed to the bottom of the list of things to do and restaurateurs sometimes think that people they hire for the host/hostess position don’t need to be trained in hospitality.

Oh yes they do.

And at the top of the list in the training handbook should be: Never look at a customer and announce, “Just one?”